Dating in Quarantine

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Dating in quarantined times like this is difficult regardless of what stage you’re in: Single? I hope you like dating via facetime, and good luck getting a kiss at the end of that date. Quarantined with your s/o? Good luck not killing each other, especially if your relationship is fairly new and you haven’t figured out your “boundaries” yet; you’ll find them real quick, I promise you. Quarantined away from your beau? Facetime dates get old after the 4th one and keeping things spicy and engaging can feel like pulling teeth. So what are we to do? When you think about it, it’s all about mindset and setting some guidelines for yourself (and your partner if you’re not single). So we’ll dive into each situation, the new reality, and some tips to improve your current relationship status.

Single

While this quarantine undoubtedly feels like the end of your love life as you know it, the new norm could be a time to really focus on figuring out what you want in someone outside of just their looks and your ability to “get some.” While this should always be the case, your compatibility on a non-physical plane is forced to shine through when you’re only going on dates via your phone. This is truly a blessing disguised as a hurdle (if you’re looking for a relationship). These virtual dates relegate the prospect of you getting lucky to the sidelines and force you to hone in on whether the two of you get along, have similar interests, sense of humor, taste in interior design, and more. So if you still aren’t going on “fake dates” you should try it, you just might make a real connection.

Virtual Date tips:

  • Clean the room you are going to call in from. I have yet to meet anyone who’s turned on by a messy room.

  • Wear something nicer than an old t-shirt and sweats - you’re still making a first impression, even if you are both in quarantine.

  • If the first date goes well, GoPuff an alcoholic beverage to their place for the second date (if they feel comfortable sharing their address with you).

  • Come up with topics to talk about outside of how scary COVID-19 is: How you’ve been staying active? Where is the first place you’re going to once we can go back to congregating normally again? What restaurant do you miss the most? What Netflix show did you most recently binge? If you have to recommend 1 new show to me right now, what would it be? <- take those, you’re welcome.

Quarantined together

If you are quarantined together and have been living together, chances are you have already set up a routine that doesn't get on the other person’s nerves and get in their way (and vice-versa). This is important and all you need to do is come up with a way to keep things interesting. For the relationship newbies (anyone in a relationship for 5 months or less), now is the time to set ground rules, or at least remind yourself to check in and make sure you are getting the space you need so you don’t get sick of the person you just started dating. Or get on their nerves for that matter. You haven’t learned their dirty habits yet, but you’re about to, so strap in and prepare yourself to have constructive conversations and be reminded that everybody poops. Either way, now is the time to set up some ground rules and come up with some creative ways to make each day feel different than the last. The more creative you get, the better your time will be.

Quarantined together tips:

  • Set boundaries early: what level of clean is acceptable for you both to coexist, how can you both complete your morning routines without knocking each other off their game? 

  • Set days or times when you work and/or sit by yourself in your space (the shower doesn’t count). This time is important. Ensure you enjoy this alone time so you don’t get sick of the other person. The amount of time you need is subjective, and no amount of time is wrong, so ask for what you need and respect what they need as well.

  • Plan themed dinner nights - dive bar night, Italian night, red carpet night, and go all out! Incorporating these kinds of fun, themed nights are a great way to spice up the monotony of what seems like the never-ending workweek in quarantine.

  • Keep a running score of games you play together (of who wins and loses) and make stakes each week/every 3 days, e.g. the winner gets a 45min massage from the loser, the loser has to clean the living room, the winner gets to pick dinner the next night... you get the idea.

  • Cook at least one new dish every week. Challenge yourselves, and make something together!

Quarantined Apart

This situation may be the most difficult, because not only are you not getting some, you also aren’t trolling the dating apps, pretending like you can go looking for some new connection. All you can do is facetime, zoom, or house party with your significant other and say “I miss you” about 19 times before your phone starts to die and you go back to playing video games. So what is there to do? Do your best to make it feel like you both are at least sharing in a common experience. Go on virtual dates. Try to pack your days with things to do to distract yourself while staying productive, and keep the video calls to only 1-2x per day, this way it doesn’t turn into an obligation, but remains a privilege to talk to them.

Quarantined Apart Tips:

  • Go on a virtual date night at least twice a week. This means you both have a drink, a cocktail, tea, etc and sit down intentionally to have a conversation about something other than not being able to see each other in person.

  • GoPuff a drink or their favorite snack to their house for them unannounced. They’ll love it, and it will keep them guessing, even in these mundane times inside.

  • If you live close enough to each other, order from the same place on the same night (or maybe the same dish from different places if you’re too far away), and share in how good your local favorite Italian spot is, even if you can’t enjoy it at the same table.

  • Periodically send a postcard, or flowers, or both. Little gestures like these can go a long way, not just in quarantine, but it for sure makes more of an impact now.

What tips, tricks or tactics have you been using in your dating endeavors in quarantine? Share with the group in the comment section below and give your fellow man some creative ideas to keep their love lives going strong.